Okay, so when I last posted, I was going up to Kripalu for the weekend. Well, Kripalu was wonderful; more than I bargained for in fact. I found that even with all the reading, introspection and yoga that I do, I still felt like a fish out of water and was very much intimidated by being there. It was a little like being at college again for the first time. I was entering a space where I knew one person and she wasn't even going to be around the whole time. I would be lying if I said I wasn't uncomfortable. After stepping back from it all, I realize that my discomfort came from the fact that even though I can talk the talk when it comes to yoga and the yoga lifestyle, I still don't always walk the walk and therefore felt like a "fake" and like I'm putting on a show.
My internal discomfort not only came from my own perceived personal hypocrisy, but also from the pranyama(breathing) exercises that were done during the workshop I was helping with as well. The theory goes that if a person suppresses their emotions, the pranyama; dhirga in particular, can dredge up those emotions and make them free floating in the body, resulting in spontaneous crying, as it did with me. As a result, I became overwhelmed enough that I left Kripalu before the BEST musical performance of the weekend; Yo Yo Ma! Yep....my experience was that profound and overwhelming, that I had to leave because for now it was more than I could handle.
Despite the emotional discomfort I felt while I visited Kripalu, I would go back in a heartbeat. The grounds are so beautiful and so peaceful and everyone is so nurturing and accepting. Being there is like being enveloped by a HUGE hug......however, if you aren't ready for it, as I was, it can be like getting a hug from a complete stranger.
So.....what does this mean for my yoga practice? Well.....less than a week after I returned from Kripalu, I was in a Latin Impact class and asked the instructor if LA Fitness pays (like a scholarship) to get people certified so they have class instructors for their gym. She said no, but AFAA (American Fitness and Aerobics Association) was having workshops which they were charging only $99 for (as opposed to $300) in the month of September. They had a yoga workshop available that I registered for immediately. The workshop was yesterday! Woo Hoo! I can now teach yoga within a gym setting.
This by no means is a "true" yoga certification, but it's a step in the right direction for now and I can get some teaching experience which I desperately need. I've recently learned of a YTT at a local yoga studio right in my town. Saraswati's Yoga Joint has a thorough and comprehensive 200 hour training program that meets every other Friday, Saturday and Sunday for 3 months. The cost is not that astronomical that it's out of my reach, so I think I will do it if my application gets accepted.
I get butterflies in my stomach when I think about it. The idea of doing what I love and sharing that with the world brings me to tears. The excitement and the joy along with the fear and anticipation make me giddy. The signs keep pointing me in this direction. All I can do is honor my heart and answer its call.
Until next time.....
Thanks for reading!